There have been several casualties in Hatton village of late. The first victim being one of four hens, we shall call her Margo. Margo was a kind, if slightly stupid hen and an exceptional layer. She prided herself on her regular egg production, striving to produce a daily egg even in the bitterest of weather. Margo was last seen pecking the ground by the back gate around 4pm last Monday afternoon. Frantic searching failed to unearth any leads to her sudden disappearance. Indeed, it was not several days later that her remains were discovered. At this time the authorities suspected this to be a vicious one off attack. No one could have predicted the grisly outcome of the following days. Margo was sorely missed by her remaining sisters; Prit-stick, Spatula and Tomisina, and we pray for her soul and safe passing.
The next fatality proved especially challenging for those attending the scene. Marmalade, a young robin known for his caddish, fly-by-night character, had taken shelter in the green house after one too many. Squeezing through the panes of glass he was soon to meet a sticky end. Unbeknownst to Marmalade, a trap had been laid in said greenhouse. Upon setting foot on the floor Marmalade was glued to the spot, no amount of struggling could release him, his feathers bound with the glue intended for a local pack of rats. Valiant rescue attempts were executed, at one point it looked as though Marmalade would pull through. Google provided the methodology to with which he was freed, until that moment Hatton residences were unaware that vegetable oil should be applied to glued together feathers. Unfortunately Marmalade passed away in the early hours, we take comfort in the fact that he died in warm surroundings perched aside a radiator.
The last attack may attest for distressing reading. Whilst still in mourning for their beloved lost sister Margo; Prit-stick, Spatular and Tomisina had become shadows of their former selves. It was with much encouragement that they had begun to venture further afield from the hen house as they once had in happier times. Tragedy stuck on Thursday 9th December, all three surviving sisters were brutally murdered in the garden shortly after nightfall. Police now fear a serial killer may be at work and urge all feathered residents to be vigilant. A recent tip off suggests that the culprit may be masquerading as a door to door sales man, witnesses describe the suspect as being orangey- brown in colour, with pointy ears and cunning demeanor. Once again Police are urging residents to remain alert, and to insist on seeing identification before admitting anyone unknown into their home.